The Role My Sisters Have Played In My Life

No body is perfect, and I’m certain that I’ve had so many imperfect moments in my life. This is especially true as of yesterday, when I got super frustrated with one of my sisters and exploded on her. Of course, I felt like a monster afterwards, and I knew that there was no way that I could take anything I said back. The benefit of being sisters is that we grew up together and could relate to each other in a way that not many people can. It meant she understood my mindset, and while it made her sad, she forgave me, and our relationship was back to normal hours later.

For today’s blog, I wanted to write about the huge impact that my sisters have on my everyday life. If you’ve been following along with me, it shouldn’t be a surprise that I could not imagine a life without them, even though I had a few years of being an only child before they came along.

I Live A Proud Life

Recently, I heard that parents should stop saying, “I’m proud of you,” to their children when they accomplish something. The reason is because then the child will grow up seeking that reinforcement and be disappointed when they don’t receive it. Instead, parents should say something along the lines of, “I hope you’re so proud of what you’ve accomplished,” so that children grow up looking within themselves for validation and grow up being self sufficient.

Growing up with parents who believe in tough love meant that validation was practically nonexistent. That lead to me always searching for it, and kind of desperate for attention until I learned otherwise. When I decided that I could determine my own worth, I put myself into a much better head space than before. So while saying things like, “I don’t need your approval,” and “I’m not doing it for you, I’m doing it because it makes me happy,” may sound rude and stand-offish, I say these things in front of my sisters as an example of ways that they might learn to be proud of themselves too.

They Allow Me To Be More Free

There are aspects of my personality that I didn’t show to the world for a while, because there was a part of me that didn’t like the idea of being judged for these things. Some of these things would be things like my laugh, the insecurity I felt when it came to my sexual experience for a certain length of time, or the fact that I could become so invested in certain fictional characters that I become very outspoken when they are wronged or die (refer to The Mortal Instruments series when Clary and Jace discover they might be related, or when Daniel Grayson died on the show Revenge).

Because they grew up knowing these things about me, and because it’s not like they could avoid me for long if they didn’t like these things about me, I didn’t have to pretend around them. I could yell at the TV as much as I want and they would still love me (even if they’re annoyed temporarily). My laugh makes them smile sometimes because they know its me being happy. I could make all the weird noises I want, and they wouldn’t look at me like I’m abnormal.

Can't imagine walking through life without a sister by my side.
Can’t imagine walking through life without a sister by my side.

“We have our own, unspoken language—a look that makes one of us fall on the floor laughing or the slight inflection in our voice that conveys everything. It is the ability to prod laughter and love no matter how much your heart might hurt. Someone who sees you exactly as you are and thinks that is enough. Someone who will walk next to you always.”

Barbara Bush

I think this quote pretty much encapsulates what I am trying to say, especially that last bit. In comparison to everyone else in the world, my sisters are the ones that accept me as I am. I don’t have to pretend with them, or put on a brave face, or be polite with out of courtesy. For them, I’m enough as I am, and knowing that makes my life richer than before.

What is your relationship with your siblings like? Or if you don’t have any, how do you feel as an only child? If you were to start your own family, what would you do differently than how you were raised? Tell me in the comments below!

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Love Always,

Kristi My