Get to Know Me with a Proust Questionnaire

Day 4, and we’re still rolling. Today, I thought I would take the time to re-introduce myself in a different way. Since this post is a little more delayed than I initially planned, it’s just going to count. This is a longer one.

You might recognize these questions because Vanity Fair uses them, but the Proust Questionnaire is 35 questions designed to reveal a person’s true nature. Marcel Proust was a writer who used these questions at parties that he hosted, and he believed that characters who were completely developed were able to answer these questions.

To give you more insight into who I am, I’m going to answer these questions. I’m also going to include some old photos of me, so let’s take a time trip.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

I don’t think there is such a thing, because I know the story of Buddha. I think that, as humans, we have a dynamic relationship with life. That means that we’re always changing and growing and becoming better. In shot, I think the idea of perfect happiness is being able to achieve a state on content, and then maintaining that level of content while striving for more.

What is your greatest fear?

Top 3 fears: pain, being a disappointment to my loved ones, and being unlovable.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

One of the annoying aspects of my personality is attached to the fact that I’m a people pleaser, so I will do the extra mile to make everyone as happy as I can. From doing that, I also hope that people will do the same for me, and I experience a strong sense of disappointment when they don’t, and that sense of disappointment is what I deplore

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

I don’t love it when people try and blame their situations on others. Like I had a cousin who didn’t like that she was negative and critical, and she said that she was that way because her parents were like that. But I felt that if she really wanted to change that, she should be mindful of what she said and slowly tried to make a change.

Which living person do you most admire?

Tanya Rad, Lana Condor, and Ali Wong.

What is your greatest extravagance?

When it comes to my dog, I don’t think I really limit what I’m willing to spend on him. I would say that I am willing to spend more on food and fashion.

I’m obviously willing to eat cheap food, but if I’m craving something more expensive, I’ll get it without really worrying about it.

With fashion, I would say that quality is half of why I’m willing to invest more in it. The other half is that the fashion industry is one on of the largest polluters on the environment, so I never feel completely comfortable buying the quick, cheap fashion that has come about, unless it comes from Marshall’s or something like that.

What is your current state of mind?

I’m really content with where I’m at. I’m on summer break after getting a 4.0 this past semester, and I am writing on this blog, which means I’m doing something I love. I’m trying not to let the quarantine effect my mood too much, because I have a feeling this is going to last a while, and I don’t want to stress too much about what I can’t completely control.

A photo of me with balloons at Disney Springs. It reminds me of the movie Up, which I watched for the first time on my 22nd birthday, 10 years after it was released.
A photo of me with balloons at Disney Springs. It reminds me of the movie Up, which I watched for the first time on my 22nd birthday, 10 years after it was released.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Well, Aristotle believed that there are 12 virtues. Out of those 12, I would say that the most overrated is magnificence. I think big magnificent things are used to hide smaller, simple issues, so that why I say that.

On what occasion do you lie?

I try not to lie, I try to sugar coat unless I can’t. So I guess in a context where I know I’m going to hurt someone in a way that I regret.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?

Lately I’ve felt like I could lose some weight. Other than that, I would say that one of my eyes has a serious case of lazy eye when I smile too big, and I don’t love that in pictures.

Which living person do you most despise?

I feel like that’s a really strong position to take, and not many people come to mind. The first people who came to mind are Peter Weber and Kelley Flannagan from The Bachelor, but they haven’t done anything to me personally. I’m just tired of seeing them.

What is the quality you most like in a man?

My boyfriend is someone who is very considerate, and it’s what caught my attention about him. I can say I didn’t pay him much attention until I saw him walking every girl and her date to and from the venue to the buses with his umbrella in the rain. He was the only one who brought one, and he took the time to do that for over a hundred people.

What is the quality you most like in a woman?

In these times, I truly love when a woman truly supports other women.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

I’ve been trying to reduce the amount of times I use the word “just.” Like every other person in the world, I say “like” too much. When I feel panicked and don’t have words, I tend to say “Meep,” which really annoys my boyfriend.

One of my favorite college experiences has been being a contributor for Her Campus UCF. This is a photo from one of the events we had. It was a lot of fun hanging around!
One of my favorite college experiences has been being a contributor for Her Campus UCF. This is a photo from one of the events we had. It was a lot of fun hanging around!

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

It’s my dog, Damian. I wrote a whole post about it. You can read it here.

When and where were you happiest?

I can’t pick just one occasion, so I’m going to say top two.

Number one is when I graduated high school, I got offered a writing residency. That allowed me to escape reality for a good two weeks, and in a productive matter. It lead me to believe that someone could see that I had writing talent, and it allowed me to do what I love.

Number two is when I went to Maryland a few months ago. I’m in my first serious relationship, and there’s some time where I’ve wondered how long this is going to last. But while in Maryland, there was a moment that happened that made me feel really comfortable in the relationship, and that comfort made me happy.

Which talent would you most like to have?

While it would be cool to be able to belt out a tune or dance till the cows came home, I would like the talent of having everyone around me feel comfortable. I know I’m odd at times, and I know what it’s like to feel like an outcast, and I don’t want that for anyone else.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I wish I didn’t have to work so hard to be good at math. It seems like a useful skill.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

I think it’s too early to tell, and that my greatest achievement is going to come soon. Right now, I’m going to say that it’s being able to attend a writing residency and working on something I’m passionate about. But more is going to come soon, I hope.

If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

As a person, I would love to come back as a First Lady; I’m interested to see what that life is like, but I wouldn’t want to be as politically criticized as a President. As a thing, I would want to come back as on of Taylor Swift’s cats, because I love Taylor Swift, and an insight into her writing process would be cool.

Where would you most like to live?

Within the United States, I have loved Colorado, and I miss Chicago all of the time. Abroad, I think I need to travel some more before I decide, but I loved San Sebastian in Spain when I went; I think Nice is more tourist-y than homey.

A Vietnamese dress is called an Ao Dai. Here is me in one from Lunar New Year. While it wasn't always easy, I've loved growing up with a Vietnamese background.
A Vietnamese dress is called an Ao Dai. Here is me in one from Lunar New Year. While it wasn’t always easy, I’ve loved growing up with a Vietnamese background.

What is your most treasured possession?

I have this pen with my name engraved on it. It’s treasured because it was given to my by the manager I had at my first internship ever. She said that it was something every professional should have. I still have it to this day.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

I don’t think I’m able to answer this because I don’t think I’ve experienced it yet. I really hope that I never do, and I hope that one day I’m able to help someone who is there.

If we’re talking about my lowest depth of misery, I would say that it was when I was in a situationship with a guy. I was under the impression that we were in a relationship when we weren’t, and I fell head over heels in love. The rejection that I felt was worse than any other I’ve felt before, but I learned to grow from it, so to me that isn’t that bad anymore.

What is your favorite occupation?

I mean, this writing gig isn’t terrible. I haven’t had that many jobs, but I love being a dog mom too.

What is your most marked characteristic?

I want to say sweet and kind are my most marked characteristics. I would say nice, but that’s my least favorite adjective to describe a person. I think nice is something you say when you don’t have anything else to say.

What do you most value in your friends?

From experience, compassion and empathy are hard traits to come by. But honestly, true and constant friends who have stuck by are people who will take the time to see where I’m coming from, and they’re patient and always willing to make me laugh.

Who are your favorite writers?

Cassandra Clare and Marie Lu are my two favorites. Alexandre Dumas is also great, and I will say I prefer The Count of Monte Cristo to The Three Musketeers.

Who is your hero of fiction?

I’m not sure if this is the right way to answer this question, but I’m going to say that I love Melissa Benoist as Supergirl.

I know Kim Kardashian once said that the selfie was dead, but I felt particularly good about this one...
I know Kim Kardashian once said that the selfie was dead, but I felt particularly good about this one…

Which historical figure do you most identify with?

Jane Austen, the rom-com queen who also made historical commentary. She’s a writer, and my favorite book of hers is Sense and Sensibility. Throughout her writing, you’ll see that she is constantly challenging how society positions women.

Who are your heroes in real life?

Well, role-model heroes I would say Becca Tilley, Tanya Rad, Keltie Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jac Vanek. If we’re talking about people who I know in my life who have made a lasting remark, I would say that there are some social studies teachers and English teachers from high school who have made an impact on my life, and two very good friends named Kevin and Emily. I’m not saying names in the scenario that they don’t want me blowing up their spot.

What are your favorite names?

I mean, I love my name. I think my parents gave me quite a powerful full name. But in terms of naming my children, I tend to lean towards names that start with a vowel. Aiden, Evelynn, Isabelle. But I’ve also said that the next dog that I get, I’m going to name her Mochi, so there’s also that.

What is it that you most dislike?

Hypocrites rub me the wrong way. Lemon grass also isn’t my favorite thing.

What is your greatest regret?

I really try hard to live my life without regrets, but of course I have a few. I’m still young, so there’s still room for my, but my greatest regret would be that there was a point in time where I didn’t have a great relationship with my sister Kristina. Maybe it stemmed from jealousy, and maybe it came from certain people I surrounded myself with, but I think the guilt I feel from that haunts me a bit. While I’m grateful for the great relationship that we have now, and everyone tells me that sibling squabbles are normal, that is my greatest regret.

How would you like to die?

Painlessly, if possible. I think a lot of the things I’m reserved about in life come from the fact that I don’t want to feel pain, such as getting a tattoo, or falling from a tall place. I actually wouldn’t mind dying alone, because I can only imagine how traumatic that death would be for people who love me. The only reason I would want someone there is if they could save me, so that’s how I feel about that.

What is your motto?

“Life is all about perspective.” I’m a firm believer that every situation, good or bad, is what you make of it. I try to find the positive in everything, and that’s just what I’ve made of my life.

An old photo of me cuddling the most important man in my life: Damian the Wigglebutt, my dog.
An old photo of me cuddling the most important man in my life: Damian the Wigglebutt, my dog.

How do you feel about this questionnaire? Do you feel like you have a better understanding of who I am? Is there anything you want to know that isn’t answered here? Tell me in the comments below! And feel free to answer one of the questions so I can get to know you too.

As always, thanks for taking the time to ready my blog. If you like what you read, feel free to like this post and share with your friends, and maybe make my day by subscribing.

Love always,

Kristi My